Teengirl Fantasy - 7am

7am, the debut album from the New York duo Teengirl Fantasy carries on from the single ‘Portofino’ and the (possibly illegitimate) CD-R ten tracker that’s doing the rounds with a polished selection of forward thinking house, drenched in layer upon layer of swirling synths.

There’s no evidence of such a thing as a house 4/4 beat until third song ‘In The Rain’, so dreamy and spaced out are the opening two cuts. Whether you’d actually take to the dancefloor even with the advent of the beat is open for debate. The entire album is so laid back that it’s almost a parody of some sort of Blaxploitation seduction soundtrack. It totally lacks any memorable hooks but having said that is not an unpleasant listening experience, just one that washes over you like a tepid bath and which you forget just as soon as you’ve toweled off.

You could easily have this on an iPod set to gapless playback for your next visit to the floatarium in place of whale noises etc. It’s massively inoffensive – like the Milk Tray Man staying around to sleep with the recipient of the chocolates, but being sweet enough not to stay for breakfast.

‘Forever The Feeling’ threatens to liven things up a bit too much but after a couple of minutes it winds down into Orb-like territory and only picks up the pace again for the final minute or so. ‘Dancing In Slow Motion’ is the only track to feature discernible lyrics (sung by Shannon Funchess of Light Asylum, !!! and other projects) and this provides a nice change from the otherwise tune-only offerings.

Proceedings are brought to a close in an upbeat fashion once more on the six minutes-plus ‘Cheaters’ which is probably the best tune on the album, with its soulful appeal to cheaters to see the light and mend their ways and fairly heavy drum sound. Not then a release to help you through the housework but as an aid to coming down from the night before its practically chicken soup.

Holy Ghost!

A revolution is taking place (always, somewhere), and DFA is one of those labels that is making its own aesthetic mark. For almost ten years the label has consequently altered and given us a feel of how they imagine the NY underground scene should sound. With danceable mixtures of punk, disco, and house at its core. Most of it done the organic way, i.e. no laptops, but actual synths and drums and a real bass and all that jazz. Watch LCD Soundsystem perform with their full band, or The Juan MacLean, or any of the other bands for that matter; it is all people playing instruments.

And DFA is not resting on their laurels  either, their quest being in full throttle this year with a new LCD album, a DJ Kicks by John MacLean, and on the slate are new albums by The Rapture, Shit Robot, Hercules and Love Affair, and Holy Ghost!, a rap band turned disco duo consisting of Nick Millhiser and Alex Frankel. Under the wings of James Murphy and Tim Goldsworthy they have been working in their niche of the DFA fabric to finish their soon to be released EP Static on the Wire.

I went to a LCD gig not too long ago, and except for you guys I think I literally saw every DFA member who has ever lived. Is DFA a family or is it mostly music you guys share?

NICK:  It is a family for sure. We are all friends first, label-mates, bandmates, artists, label managers second.

ALEX: Absolutely a family. Don’t make me get emotional.

I read an interview with John MacLean, who said that Alex once called him up while you two were DJing, John heard you guys playing ‘Happy House’ in the background, and Alex was “yelling at me about quantizing the hi-hats”. Does this anecdote accurately describe how you guys are when it comes to music?

NICK:  Pretty much. He called me once when he was DJing to tell me that kick on our Cut Copy remix wasn’t “tough enough”. He was right.

ALEX: Hahaha, that’s amazing. Yes, that describes it. Also the words NERDY + PARTICULAR +  OUTDATED.

Can we do a word association game? Which five words do you associate with:

Alex/Nick (aka, the other Holy Ghost! member)

NICK: “Oh, daddy. Why do you make cry….”

ALEX: That’s six Nick, read better.  

Jacques Renault (DJ mate + friend)

NICK: Siren

ALEX:  “I love you  my bro”

James Murphy (Label owner plus LCD Soundsystem frontman)

NICK: Jigga!

ALEX: jigga! Marlow and sons. Good.

Nancy Whang (The Juan MacLean/LCD Soundsystem)

NICK: Kiddo!

ALEX: Nando. Miss nancy whang. Hot.

Juan MacLean (The Juan MacLean)

NICK: King Cone.

ALEX: Baby gets what baby wants.

In three (or six) degrees of separation, what is the most unlikely person you could get to?

NICK: These are good questions! Hmmm, let me think. Abe Lincoln is a distant cousin of mine on my mother’s side. Fact!

ALEX: Michael McDonald. I refuse to give my mom his info though. Stalker status.

As probably already has become obvious from the John MacLean anecdote, everything is being looked at with an expert eye. Most guys at DFA know their gear, they dislike their software (or in any case want as little to do with a laptop in terms of music), and when you know, you also can find out what stuff can get out what sound the best. It seems like the DFA guys are that way concerning life as well, humanity before mechanization. Well…

You guys met Murphy and Goldsworthy ages ago, you all became friends, and years later you’ve got your EP released by them and you’re opening for LCD; do nice guys get further in life?

NICK: Apparently not. I’ve heard reports that we’re actually huge assholes.

ALEX: Nice guys finish first? Shit, better start a new band.

You heard reports, seriously? Already starting band feuds, or was that a typical internet thingy where people are just talking shit on message boards?

NICK: No, I haven’t seen anything on the blogs, but please forward me anything you’ve stumbled across. I’ve heard it from promoters and other DJs. Like, “man people say you guys are assholes but you’re actually really nice.”

Surfing Discogs for hours from your comfy chair and coming up with some rare goodies or browsing a musky cellar and come away with 10 LPs for 15 dollars? And why does the one appeal more?

NICK: Musky cellar, though I haven’t been record shopping in ages. I like touching records, holding them in my hands, reading credits, etc. I also don’t like computers much. That’s why we don’t DJ with them or use them on stage.

ALEX: Musky? Mmm, you’ve got me excited.

About the DJing, you guys do it “old-fashioned”, what do you guys think of people like Richie Hawtin, using Traktor and linking it to LastFM or Twitter and stuff? I can imagine him thinking that embracing technology opens many possibilities.

NICK: we have no beef with technology, but at the same time neither one of us particularly enjoys spending time at the computer. For me, the computer is a tool for work. I have no interest in scrolling through a bunch of tiny texts on an LCD screen when I’m DJing. I spend far too much of my time doing that as it is.

What is the latest bit of gear you bought and were over the moon about?

NICK: We are very, very close to buying a Yamaha CS80 which is something we’ve been looking at for years. It is truly the most beautiful sounding polyphonic synthesiser ever built. It truly makes everything else sound like a toy. I might actually cry if we get it, but that’s largely because of how much it’s going to cost.

ALEX: Tears of joy, tears of joy.

(One month later)

NICK: We lost the auction ;(.

I don’t assume you can drag that one across Europe though. What does your road set-up look like?

Nick: The live rig is kind of a stripped down version of our studio remade with as much modern, stable gear as possible played live by 4 dudes. No laptop anywhere near the stage.

According to you, what is the most underrated piece of equipment, and what is the appeal to you personally?

Nick: Most underrated: Orban 111B Spring Reverb, Ashly SC-44 parametric EQ and the Ashly SC series compressors. All very cheap. All very, very good. James gave me an Ashly SC66 when we started working on Holy Ghost! stuff and it was the only compressor I had for years. It’s the only compressor used on ‘Hold On’.

ALEX: A piano.

In your DJ sets a love for vintage disco comes shining through, is that just the music or also the Disco aesthetic, and what makes up that aesthetic for you personally?

NICK:  A good disco record is hard to beat on many levels. It’s just an amalgam of so many great things – great songwriting, optimism, complete lack of irony, amazing production, amazing engineering, amazing musicianship and tough as shit drumming.

They have been playing together for some years now as they grew up living two blocks from each other. First they played in a now defunct rap band called Automato, and now they have formed Holy Ghost! and have been creating music under that moniker for some time now. In the past few years they have been releasing killer remixes, like the ones for Moby’s ‘I Love to Move in Here’, Curses!’ ‘The Deep End’, and more recently they did cuts for LCD Soundsystem, Friendly Fires, and Monarchy. Slowly singles have been coming out as well. Very slowly, that is, but the guys are not rushing. On the 23rd of August they will be releasing their first EP called Static on the Wire, and later this year or early 2011 their first full length will appear. To support the EP they’ve opened for LCD Soundsystem in the US, did a small European tour, and are now returning to the US for a lengthy road trip with Chromeo.

Could you tell us about the new EP you guys are releasing?

ALEX: It’s called Static on the Wire. It just came out in the US of A and will be out in Europe in August, it’s got four songs on it. It’s kind of a handshake to strangers, saying “hi, this is what we do, would you like to be friends and later enjoy moments of over emotional joy, sadness, and rage?” It’s an HG! starter kit. It was recorded over two years, during the same sessions as our album.

I’ve read that the album will be coming out late 2010/early 2011. If the EP is a handshake, what will the album be saying?

NICK: If the EP is a handshake then the album is the kiss at the end of the night. Or maybe it’s a slap in the face.  That will have to be your call!

Can you tell me something about the art work for the EP? Are you guys hands on with that or do you let other people at DFA decide?

NICK: The basic concepts for the artwork are our own but we pass our crude ideas on to people like Drew Hefron and Michael Vadino with actual talent to do the actual hard work.

You guys will be heavily supporting the EP with the LCD, Chromeo, and a festival Europe tour. Is that a crowded agenda or are you guys relishing the prospect?

ALEX: Relishment and punishment are not far a part. We definitely are biting off more than we can chew, but hey, what you can’t chew you swallow, right? That sounds gross. No, I’m being stupid, we’re ridiculously thrilled to be able to support these bands. Honestly, I’m elated

HEALTH - Die Slow

With all the best of the decade lists being flung about at the moment, 2009 is in danger of getting overlooked. You can kind of forgive a few people for wanting to get the ’00s out of the way with to start a fresh in the next decade – in terms of world events it’s been a particularly shocking ten years – but this is a music website (usually) and we must avert our gaze, stick our headphones on and enter the parallel universe that is popular music.

New York cast a long shadow over the independent music world in 2009, just as it had done way back in 2001 – the internet and, more surprisingly, large sections of the mainstream fell for albums by The Pains of Being Pure at Heart, Dirty Projectors, Animal Collective and (Jay-Z’s new favourite) Grizzly Bear. These bands made sonically unique albums that still retain a certain amount of insularity – these are carefully-crafted other worlds on record, and they were a little too careful and too crafted for some.

A lot of bands took the lo-fi path in response – either with guitars (Wavves) or laptops (Memory Tapes). One band stubbornly taking their own path was HEALTH – the LA band occupied that largely deserted space between dance and noise music, producing one of my favourite tracks (and videos) of the year, ‘Die Slow’.

In the UK, we were lucky enough to witness the continued emergence of a few unique bands, contentedly removed from any particular scene – Camera Obscura, Future of the Left, The Twilight Sad, The Wave Pictures, Wild Beasts and The XX all made impressive records this year It’s worth noting that The XX are the only band on their with a debut album – perhaps one of the after effects of illegal downloads and the decline in record sales will be that bands will be under less pressure to have hit albums (money will come from touring now, presumably) and so will be able to develop a recorded body of work at their own pace.

Dubstep, another aspect of 2009’s musical fabric that has grown away from the mainstream, seemed to be bigger than ever this year. Hyperdub’s compilation was a fitting summary of its first five years, and if Skream’s remix of ‘In For The Kill’ and the dubstep-inspired tracks on Rihanna’s (slightly disappointing) new record are anything to go by, more mainstream artists will be plundering the ever-shifting sounds of dubstep into the next decade. New Joker and Burial in 2010 anyone? Yes please.

One overlooked aspect of the musical year was the abundance of albums from artists who resist categorisation – if 2009 has stood for anything in terms of music, it is the continued fragmentation and expansion of listeners’ habits and musical tastes. File sharing has made more music available for less (or no) money, and the new musical landscape means success (in varying amounts admittedly) for records such as the atmospheric, otherworldly Heavy Ghost by DM Stith, the foreboding, domestic Fever Ray, Patrick Wolf’s extravagant, determined The Bachelor, Micachu’s pop experimentation on Jewellery, Bibio’s late flowering with Ambivalence Avenue, PJ Harvey’s continued journey with John Parish on A Woman A Man Walked By, Antony Hegarty growing into The Crying Light, and Bradford Cox’s solo work as Atlas Sound on Logos, which could easily turn out to be a more fruitful artistic outlet for him than Deerhunter.

These are all relatively marginal acts and albums of course. I’ve intentionally ignored the large, X Factor-shaped elephant in the room because the abundance of musical alternatives allows me too. Televisions and radios can be turned off, newspaper headlines ignored. 2009’s musical landscape, superficially at least, looks grim – Simon Cowell’s golden grip may appear to be tightening if you look to the charts, but who does nowadays? He’s not killing music – he’s just making money. Off the beaten track, but within reach, 2009 has produced some strange, unique, joyous, heartbreaking music.

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Yeah Yeah Yeahs

December 3rd 2009

When you’re an indie luddite like me, it becomes a bit of a rarity to attend a gig which involves you running the gauntlet of vultures touting ill-gotten tickets outside the venue. Tonight’s appearance by Yeah Yeah Yeahs at Newcastle Academy is such an occasion, where the presence of a parade of scum-sucking touts serves as a reminder of the scale we’re dealing with here. The band have grown out of their days as NME hype victims into a permanent fixture in the indie big league. And rightly so, given the consistently high standard of their three full-length records.

But what of their live show? Well, it’s peerless. Karen O is the undoubted star of the show, a prowling, twirling, pogoing hipster dream, decked out in some sort of Amazing Technicolour Dream Poncho. Her voice is like razor blades dipped in honey, and when on ‘Cheated Hearts’ she sings “Sometimes I think that I’m bigger than the sound”, it’s with a glint in her eye. She knows she’ll never write a truer line, because she’s without doubt the most charismatic and engaging front woman we’ve seen this decade.

Not that it’s all about Karen, mind you. One of the things which have allowed Yeah Yeah Yeahs to endure the initial push is the fact that they are more than just KO and Friends. Drummer Brian Chase and guitarist Nick Zinner pull their weight too, and help to amplify the energy captured on the records. This applies as much to the synth-heavy songs of It’s Blitz! (understandably dominant in the setlist) as it does to the rawer older material. The newer tracks maintain their inherent groove, but still sit comfortably alongside songs from the first couple of records thanks mainly to Zinner’s guitar work which instils them with more raggedness than the versions committed to tape.

There’s a moment during the set tonight when the lights turn the ceiling bright blue and for a fleeting second you’re transported from a rainy December night in the North East to a field somewhere in the middle of summer. This sits perfectly with the triumphant, one-off feel of tonight’s show which can only be compared to that of a festival. The fact that the Academy’s floor is stickier than the boggiest of farmer’s fields only serves to add to that impression.

There are elements of tonight’s set which would come across as cloying and hackneyed in the hands of lesser bands than Yeah Yeah Yeahs. However, moments like the regular (and blatant) crowd-pandering screams of “Noo-caaa-sull” from Karen come across so enthusiastically that they just make the band seem more likeable. The same goes for the lighters-in-the-air acoustic version of ‘Maps’. Far from being a cynical and lazy ploy, it’s a genuinely warming slow dance fit for the first dance at the indiest of weddings.

It’s clear now that Yeah Yeah Yeahs are indie royalty. Few other bands out there can grab your attention so fully and so completely that you want to squeeze as much as humanly possible out of every second you spend in their company. Tonight sees them absolutely at the peak of their powers, and twenty pounds seems an absolute bargain for the privelege of experiencing it. Did someone say ‘Gig of the year’? Yep, everyone in the room.

TPOBPAH

December 2nd 2009

It’s been a hell of a year for New Yorkers The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart. They’ve triumphantly ridden a wave of blog-driven hype for the whole of 2009, picking up a legion of plaudits for their effortlessly wonderful debut album which has culminated in a top 10 place in our very own albums of the year poll. I had them far higher than 8th in my own personal list, but hey, such is democracy…

Tonight’s trip to Newcastle’s O2 Academy 2 sees them hauling in a respectably sized crowd of skinny check-shirted types. At first, it seems they are going to struggle to live up to our (admittedly colossal) expectations, as the songs commence in a worryingly anaemic manner. ‘This Love is Fucking Right!’, one of the most buoyant, gleeful moments on the record raises the curtain in fairly underwhelming fashion, as it is tossed out almost indifferently. It gives us serious cause to worry that Newcastle’s first experience of The Pains of Being Pure at Heart will be a disappointing one.

However, after a couple of songs, the band visibly begin to relax and settle into their stride. As they do so, the volume seems to pick up, the drumming seems sharper and more urgent, and their distinctive wash of sound fills the room. It all culminates fittingly in the sky-scraping ‘Gentle Sons’, a microcosm for the whole set which starts off with a powerful ‘Be My Baby’ drumbeat and gradually builds into a tumult of almost My Bloody Valentine-esque proportions.

In spite of the obvious progression in the quality of the performance, sadly the Academy remains absolutely devoid of atmosphere. Maybe it’s down to the less than top-quality sound which obscures the vocals even more than is probably intended, or whether the crowd are just having a bit of an off-night, it’s hard to say. However, it doesn’t make the band’s job any easier, nor does it reflect on their efforts to engage us with their songs and occasional smattering of likeably awkward between-song chatter.

One other slight gripe is that it is clear that the newer songs are the ones which inspire the most enthusiasm in the band. In particular, the tracks aired from their gorgeous new ‘Higher Than the Stars EP’ seem to be delivered with the most fervour, as does the apparently nameless new song (very much in the vein of their previous work, by the way, and no worse off for it). It seems that perhaps they’ve now reached that stage which all bands will eventually reach after having toured the living shit out of their debut for God knows how many months. No matter how good the songs, their jadedness in playing them night after night after night begins to show. Tonight is only a minor example of this, and we still leave with our faith in The Pains Of Being Pure At Heart firmly in tact, but perhaps now is the time for them to go to ground and commence the daunting task of following up this year’s breathtaking recorded output.

Pavement

I’M EXCITED. I WOULD RE-PHRASE THE PRESS RELEASE THAT JUST CAME THROUGH MY INBOX BUT FUCK IT, I’M GOING TO COPY AND PASTE IT INSTEAD WHILE I GO AND WET MYSELF IN A MORE APPROPRIATE LOCATION:

“Domino is delighted to make it official that the line up of Mark Ibold, Scott “Spiral Stairs” Kannberg, Stephen Malkmus, Bob Nastanovich and Steve West is reuniting for dates around the world in 2010

Following years of speculation and extremely polite answers to obligatory reunion questions, Pavement, the most influential band of their generation, have announced details of their first show in over a decade.

The first show announced is a New York performance on September 21, 2010 at Rumsey Playfield in Central Park.  A pre-sale begins at 10:00 AM EDT on Friday, September 18, 2009 (tomorrow).  The password for the pre-sale is ZOWEE and the ticketing link is www.ticketmaster.com/event/00004330A3C355DD.  The general on-sale is slated for 10:00 AM EDT on Friday, September 25, 2009.  Please note that tickets will be available without surcharges from the Nokia Theatre box office in Times Square and from Earwax at 218 Bedford Avenue in Williamsburg.

Please visit www.crookedrain.com for details on this on-sale as well as all Pavement news as it develops.

Renowned for the thrilling ride of their live shows, Pavement’s unique sense of wit, style and pop chaos ensured the band’s iconoclastic run of LPs, from Slanted & Enchanted to Terror Twilight Is the most assured canon in all of indie-rock. And set the template for pretty much everything else that’s followed.

Bearing all that in mind however, the band would like it to be known that the tour does not constitute a full-on permanent reformation.

Grizzly Bear

August 30th 2009

I’m stood in the longest queue ever. Under any other circumstance I’d moan, but it just so happens it’s a really beautiful day in Williamsburg, Brooklyn.

Williamsburg is the main residence of the “hipster”. Not a style of jean, but rather the American variant of the “Shoreditch twat”. I’m also not moaning because I’m waiting in line to see Beach House and some other Brooklyn residents, Grizzly Bear. Oh yeah, and it’s completely free.

After some initial confusion regarding my driving license being a means to prove I’m over 21, I enter the venue. In this case a disused patch of land that’s been given over in order to host the show. The stage is a modest set-up of scaffolding that sits adjacent to the East River. Behind that, the sun is striking down upon the sprawl of glass and concrete that is the Manhattan skyline, and a fine breeze is coming up off the river. The throngs are in good spirits; sipping beer, eating cheap hotdogs and shooting baskets.

The earlier parts of the day are soundtracked by a nondescript DJ, and Vega. While the muso in me knows I should be cultivating a stance of total coverage, I’m having far too much fun hamming up my English for the hipsters while watching the basketball in the sun. They ask me to say water bottle, I ask them to say squirrel.

Finally, the DJ starts to lull, and I get the feeling that Beach House are about to take to the stage. My judgment is faithful, and I’m awarded a spot near the very front. A polka-dotted Victoria Legrand is followed onstage by Alex Scally and a drummer, and they begin to play.

Listening to Beach House on CD is akin to being in bed on a Sunday with your lover after a heavy night out. This Sunday is only slightly different. Shiftless and hazy, the illusory keyboards float over the crowd. Beach House don’t order much other than contemplation in a live environment. They’re stunning, however the wind is playing havoc with their ethereal and delicate sound. ‘Gila’ is wonderful, as is ‘Master of None’. ‘Heart of Chambers’ however, appears too sluggish, and the live drummer fails to bring much in the way of kick. The set list is comprised of mainly songs off Devotion with a new song (‘Norway’?) thrown in. Beach House finish, the DJ comes back on, I get another drink.

Eventually, Grizzly Bear don the stage to much applause; it’s little wonder given that they’re playing to a home crowd, coupled with the praise that’s been showered on Veckatimest.

The bouncing chords of ‘Southern Point’ begin to chime, and the audience nod and sway accordingly. Grizzly Bear pack more punch musically, meaning that their sound is not so much at the mercy of the wind. In fact, they’re razor sharp, rarely missing a note.

The set is comprised of fast and slow numbers. Encompassing a perfect balance of both Yellow House and Veckatimest. ‘Knife’ is so beautiful right now it’s hard to remind oneself to absorb everything all at once. ‘While You Wait for the Others’ demonstrates the band’s ability to harmonize perfectly, lifting the spirits at its crescendo. ‘Ready, Able’ is near perfect, and the band are sublime. The sun begins to wash the backdrop with a yellow hue, and it’s hard to imagine being in a better place with Grizzly Bear providing the perfect soundtrack to this picturesque evening. Occasionally, even Daniel Rossen is unable to draw his gaze away from the setting behind him. They finish with ‘On a Neck, On a Spit’, thank the audience (which includes Jay Z and Beyonce) and head off.

All in all, a perfect way to spend a lazy Sunday evening in Brooklyn.

Vivian Girls

This album is a lot like a pizza (bear with me here). As a whole, it’s a deliciously enticing prospect but the problem with pizza is that every slice is pretty much the same as the one before and after your sixth, you either get bored or start to feel sick from the carb and salt overload. A typical Vivian Girls serving is topped with generous helpings of echo and reverb, all played at a piping hot 100 miles per hour, great in small portions but sickly as a whole.

Strained similes aside, there is actually much to like about what makes up Everything Goes Wrong. The music is absolutely no frills; guitar, bass and drums played to a fairly limited range of melody and style but played with real rock’n'roll carefree abandon. The album has a live feel to it, attempting to capture what I imagine is a fantastic concert spectacle, though this is offset somewhat through the effects laden vocals which are always dreamy, and multi layered.

It’s tough to pick highlights or indeed lowlights as the tracks are so alike and interchangeable. It’s the kind of album where a friend might say to you, “I love ‘The Desert’” and you’ll reply “Which one’s that?” with their subsequent description of the track leading to further confusion. ‘Tension’ and final track ‘Before I Start to Cry’ just about make themselves noticeable as they’re played at a lesser tempo but still, the melody is not diverse enough from other offerings.

If someone were to stick a track from this album onto a mix CD, the recipient would likely be totally intrigued by the Vivian Girls’ old school, indie rock murk and would no doubt be enticed to seek out more of their work. But it’s in this format, the teasing glimpse, that the band’s music works best. In a long player format, it’s just too raucous, too samey and ultimately the initial charm wears off and boredom creeps in.

Silk Flowers

Do Goths ever do karaoke? If not, then they have here the blueprint for going about it. At time of writing I’ve already switched this album off twice as it’s so bad. If only it was my ex-colleague Phil singing as I first thought – at least I could take something positive from it and congratulate him on getting a deal. But no, instead it’s three blokes from New York who actually manage to describe what they do as “trance” on MySpace. A trance would be welcome to manage to get through the whole of the ten efforts on offer.

Could it all though be a big joke? As fake as the items Silk Flowers are named after? If so then I’m obviously missing what’s funny about out-of-tune Ian Curtis impressions over monotonous keyboard wanking. This is by far the worst album I’ve had to review this year – very glad I’m under no obligation to keep it after I’ve finished writing tonight.

I’m quite tempted at this point to shoehorn my ten best albums of the year so far into the review at this point so as to at least mention stuff I’d heartily recommend you buy, but I’ll play fair just now and soldier on through the entire release. Track five has just started and I’ve never got past this point before so we’re already breaking new ground. It’s depressing stuff though – sounds like the guy’s trapped in an iron lung someone else is using as a drum.

Mercifully, track six is the shortest one. Track seven actually sounds like it might be happy. Have I misjudged? Seems not – upbeat: yes, but also a pointless instrumental. That said, a break from the singing is welcome. Track eight got me thinking what would the Sesame Street songwriters come up with if they all got depression? Only two songs to go now!

There’s only one use for this album – clearing out crowds from a club or party. No one will stay once this comes on. I’m off to put my bins out as respite from the final seven minutes. I might also go for a walk around the block. In one word – AVOID!

The Juan Maclean

May 10th 2009

Perhaps one is familiar with The Neverending Story (you know, that one about the boy and the flying mutt), well, I’ve got another one.

Yes, the set last night of electronic act The Juan MacLean only lasted about an hour, not anything to get rapturous about, but when they started with ‘Happy House’ there was no stopping the New York foursome, for this live occasion including Nancy Whang (LCD Soundsystem), excluding Holy Ghost! drummer Nick Millhiser, including Jerry Fuchs with a nifty moustache. They did an extended version of that twelve minute epic for arguably less people.

It seems as if the band has just arrived from the airport, luggage actually begin carried through the small hall of Paradiso during the soundcheck. Sunday nights are not the most popular ones for Dutch concertgoers, as probably a higher percentage of the students can travel for free during weekdays, not so much weekends (you can choose one of the two to travel for free). Even the ones that can travel for free, or are willing to pay up (tripling the original ticket price, which says something about both, but more about the fare) aren’t really there. The start time is bumped to 23:00 officially, an additional twenty minutes later unofficially, meaning that unless you live in Amsterdam, you just won’t be getting home (and thanks for that…). So if the crowd, part fans, part early birds for the club night Zonde!, look kind of few in numbers, well, there you go. All the more room for dancing then.

Dancing, namely, is not merely a possibility, but it is almost a must as the band is a house machine non-stop. One track after another just hits the dancefloor, with only the melancholic and slightly slower paced ‘The Station’  giving a slight rest for legs and flailing limbs. Songs from the new album, including the most recent single ‘One Day’, are put alongside songs from the first album, Less Than Human. One of those older songs is a vicious rendition of ‘Give Me Every Little Thing’, which gets a particularly raucous response from the gathered crowd. Curiously, the title track seems absent, but plenty of other new songs are played, perhaps less manically than the aforementioned older song, but danceable no less.

Then John MacLean makes a rare trip to the mic stand for some very slight banter, mainly introducing the last song of the set as being called ‘Seven Gateways To Hell’, which to the more perceptive is rather quickly unmasked as the 2008 single ‘Happy House’, the closing track on The Future Will Come. And really, that one leaves most other bands slightly embarrassed. If you had not yet exhausted your body fully on the previous songs, this one will do the trick with a twenty minute electronic bliss coming over you. It induces mass dancing, or more aptly put, it demands it, and in such a way it is just a moustache short of leading a totalitarian regime. Just when you feel your legs giving way and you hear the tempo drop, the band builds it right back up again (mind you, this is after they already have been playing it for a quarter of an hour), and everyone gives dancing another go. Oh yes, and there was an encore to boot.

This gig was the last date of a European tour, and if you fancy a bit of dancing you might want to wonder why you were at home when they were playing a venue near you the, and you better make a post-it reminder to make sure you are there the next time around. The whole set was a treat, danceable and the way they extend the songs is very tight. It is a party, a carnival with no end. And when you think it has, they just build ‘Happy House’ right back up again to make sure the party goes on. Actually, if you live near, pop on by, I actually think they might still be playing that ‘Happy House’ tune. And be sure to bring your kid so you can witness it growing up during the song.