How do you pack for a festival?

Albeit we’re coming to the end of festival season, but it’s never too late to give you musos out there some top tips on packing. And the most important one is practicality-based: only take as many clothes as your luggage of choice will provide a home to.

The second most important point is finding the most and the biggest luggages you own – once they’ve been located, fill them all with too many clothes and then go shopping. Fuck carrying it all, it’ll carry itself. At least three outfit changes per day are reasonable – you’ll feel born-again every time you find a new item of clothing you’ve forgotten made the journey, despite the broken back you’ll have acquired from lugging the ‘staple’ backpack through ten fields having already been living at perpetual Pimms o’clock since the extended pre-allnighter began a few days ago.

Don’t forget, you’ll need another holdall worth of accessories to match the outfits, and equally or perhaps moreover, the fact that you’ll probably lose half of them/give them away to strangers during the course of the weekend – more is more.

Useful points to note
- Bring marshallows for toasting, they’ll make you at least five new friends
- Don’t be a fool and buy Stella to almost instantly exchange for cold Carling; it’ll only mark you out as a virgin
- Sturdy footwear is essential for tramping your way through inches of excrement
- Wet wipes, dry wipes, everything in between wipes…
- Hide your bottle of JD in with the tent, they’ll never know
- Remember how fashionable ‘organic’ is these days any minute you feel repulsed (or just hungover)
- Hats, headscarves a la delectable senior citizen, plastic bags, paper bags, swimming caps – you’ll be ever grateful
- Bring a seven person tent for three of you – use a third of it as your walk-in wardrobe, the middle as a house for the alcohol, and a small corner for sleeping… might as well be as ridiculous as possible, just because you can
- Harbour a cold so you don’t have to deal with the stench. Or alternatively, a clothes peg – yum yum …

With this advice, you will not fail!

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